I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize