I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
