I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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