He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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