i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
