areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
