Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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