so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
