so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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