High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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