let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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