it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
