It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
