Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
