marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
