Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
