Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
