is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
this will be a night to untag.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
