You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
