I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
