pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
