Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
