But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
