in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
