i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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