you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
