Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize