Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
