I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i dont even know how to be here
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
