he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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