Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
