she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
