I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
