it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Your cock deserves a montage
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
