i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
