theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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