he was CRYING into my vagina
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
