You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
