You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize