It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
