apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
