Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
