I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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