just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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