Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
