This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
