he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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