all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize