it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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