Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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