Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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