Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
