I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize