last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
