who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
