What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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