I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
