im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
