so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize