so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
