ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
