hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize