when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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