What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
