soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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