Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize