I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
