so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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