But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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