"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
high people should be assigned attendants
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize