Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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