Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize