I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize