So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
